Movie
A Bride’s Revenge (2019)
As you’ve probably gathered from the title, this is a Lifetime movie about… well, a bride seeking revenge. Technically Lori is a former bride who got dumped on her wedding day after the groom Ian decided she was too psycho to marry. No shock this woman goes totally over the edge and stalks Ian’s new fiancée Miya (while wearing a bridal gown no less).
The movie has a number of factors that elevate it above standard Lifetime fare enough to earn a ranking slot. The tempo remains high for the most part, and within the opening five minutes we’re treated to a cancelled wedding, a creepy invitation for that betrothal sent to the new bride to be (that mysteriously disappears), and a knife-wielding female stalker dressed all in white. There’s also a subplot about the obvious suspect having an alibi for the attacks. Since the antagonist’s face is conveniently masked by a veil and Miya works in a salon with two female assistants, both those women are potential suspects.
The film’s main issues are a weak climax and actually getting hold of a decent copy in the UK. There are no physical releases (to date), and while the movie does air on Channel 5 in their afternoon slot (the closest thing to Lifetime in Britain), the early screening time means censors tend to edit out more graphical parts. For A Bride’s Revenge this includes some knife shots (but not the detective referring to the weapon!), Lori bashing her head against a mirror, and Miya getting bludgeoned with a brick. All the exciting bits, in other words. Fortunately those scenes do feature in the Johnson Production Group trailer, which helps to fill in crucial gaps for my video review.
Villainesses
Lori Parker (Hannah Barefoot), Caroline / Rose Parker (Kendra Carelli)
There’s no doubt who the main villain is, with Lori acting completely psycho from her very first scene. She does all the crazy woman stuff required – taunting the heroine, loony-eyed stares, self-harm, threatening her boyfriend just because. Still, Lori somehow manages to convince the police Miya is the crazy one thanks to a doppelganger bride / accomplice. Speaking of the outfit, it’s quite an original take and actually makes for some eerie stalking sequences. There’s nothing quite like a woman in long white gloves and a trailing dress sticking a knife into a wedding cake before offing some poor victim (in this case Ian’s mother).
Hannah Barefoot knows what’s required for this type of movie, and provides more than one insane rant to keep viewers entertained. Lori’s best such moment comes at the mother’s funeral when she shows up just to add salt to Miya’s wounds, and then accuses her of being unstable. The villainess’ ploy obviously works because the courts serve Miya with a restraining order.
Besides the bridal gown, Lori wears a more traditional evil black outfit when she kills the family dog (!) and later pays one of those unfriendly hospital visits to finish off a patient. This is enough to cause Miya’s relationship to deteriorate, but fortunately Ian sees Lori is the truly crazy one. It helps that his ex-girlfriend injures herself after Miya digs up some information about a suspected arson that killed Lori’s parents. Yes, there’s a crazy backstory like always.
There’s also a revelation that Lori has a sister named Rose, which explains how she had an albi for when the bride attacked Miya earlier. Suspicion falls on Miya’s friend Sandra after she shows off rose tattoos on her fingernails, but nobody will too surprised this turns out to be a false lead and Lori’s real sister/accomplice is the other coworker Caroline. This all leads to a showdown at Lori’s house where Miya ends up captured by the psycho siblings.
The main set piece takes place at a mausoleum, which makes for a creepy setting. Lori is suitably menacing and insanely jealous for this encounter – demanding Ian commit suicide in front of his mother’s crypt – but she and Rose are both defeated too easily. The accomplice gets shot in the back during a struggle, and Lori falls down a rather short flight of steps, somehow breaking her neck before reaching the bottom.
UK TV edits don’t help (it’s quite bizarre when Lori demands Rose stab Miya but the knife is not shown!), but American viewers have voiced their disappointment at the climax so it appears most of the footage is untouched. Still, there are plenty of moments to enjoy including two unveiling scenes (one for each bride) and a barmy main villainess to keep the viewer’s attention.
Video Review
Honourable Mention (Unranked)
Ruthless Realtor (2020) – Lynette Dee (Alexandra Peters)
Above average for Lifetime fare, this thriller also benefits from good pacing and a great masked outfit for its villainess. This psycho’s wardrobe is all black complete with creepy gas mask that resembles something from the First World War, which allows for use of a stunt double in an opening beatdown scene. No skimping on action in this one – it really comes across as brutal.
The main suspect is the realtor of the title – Christy Burson as Meg Atkins – though in the end it turns out she isn’t so ruthless, more a disturbed young woman set up by the real killer Lynette. It’s a rather obvious plot twist given the attacker uses chemicals to stun/kill her victims and this woman works in a pharmacy. Plus she seems really interested in the property her parents used to live in, and is very disappointed when Meg sells the house to another couple.
After the opening there’s not a lot of action, but for once the police are actually useful. Not that it’s any consolation to the officer guarding the property, who becomes the standard mid-film victim to ramp up tension before the finale. Maybe this guy should have been the stereotypical useless cop who ignored the heroine after all.
The end sequence is very eerie for a TV movie, with Lynette armed with a sledgehammer and breaking down a basement wall to reveal the skeletal remains of her parents. For added bonus, we get three unmasking scenes, one real-time and two more in flashback. The struggle that follows the inevitably lengthy monologue is overly pantomine in tone and the villainess is taken out a bit too easily (though nowhere near so tame a finale as Lori’s).
Action Woman Fan 