Movie
Crackerjack 2 (1997)
Sequels often feature better female villains than the first effort, and that’s certainly the case here. The original Crackerjack (1994) was basically Die Hard at a mountain ski resort, with Christopher Plummer doing a rather meek Hans Gruber impression as stereotypical German baddie Ivan Getz. The villain and his trigger-happy mercenaries occupy an entire mountain just to get their hands on a repentent mob boss’ diamonds. Surely there’s an easier approach to getting rich.
This B-grade action movie is a complete ripoff of the 1988 classic that doesn’t pretend otherwise. Jack Wild is a loner cop with family members among the hostages and Getz shows no concern for human life, whether it be civilians or his own men. The sole female villain Alex (Dorothy Fehr) acts tough, crushes a nut and shoots some innocent guy, but her involvement is mostly restricted to standing around while Getz does the talking. In the end, Alex gets a “blink and miss it” death when she’s blown away without so much as a one liner.
Thankfully the villainess in Crackerjack 2 is far superior. Sure, the film has an equally trashy cookie cutter plot, but at least there’s something going for it. While the second film appears to be a train set Die Hard clone at first (it was actually titled Hostage Train in the US), the action mostly takes place in a sealed off tunnel. Convenient when you need nondescript concrete rooms to hide a low budget.
Thomas Ian Griffith must have been unavailable for the sequel as the main character Jack Wild is now played by Judge Reinhold. If you’re wondering who that is, he was Eddie Murphy’s sidekick in the Beverly Hills Cop films. One assumes B-movie action regulars turned the producers down as well, though Reinhold is passable in all fairness.
The setup is completely by the numbers. Wild’s wife was murdered by the terrorist Hans Becker (Karel Roden), and the same bad guy is planning to extort a bunch of investors who just happen to be on the same train as Wild’s fiancee Dana Townsend. She’s played by Carol Alt – a former swimsuit model – so we get scantily clad scenes to keep the viewer’s attention until the action kicks in. Once it does, it’s revealed Becker is not actually the main villain. That would be Michael Sarazzin as some guy called Smith (probably an alias, but never confirmed), who poses as an innocent passenger but abandons that ruse so quickly it’s pointless.
This is a generic cut and paste affair, so anyone who’s seen this type of film before will know what to expect. The villains are way ahead of the incompetent authorities and only Jack Wild can save the day. Special forces attempt an airborne assault only to get blown up along with a decoy train. The baddies have an escape plan which involves killing the hostages. For comic relief, there’s a model train enthusiast who exists solely to provide information. Just like the first Crackerjack, the whole plot reads like a Die Hard ripoff checklist, and without Jasmine the movie would be pretty unbearable.
Villainess
Jasmine (Katerina Brozova)
The “prologue” portion of Crackerjack 2 is the expected loud action sequence that introduces the feud between Wild and Becker, and also the incompetent boss (who even goes so far as to arrest Wild for obstruction of justice). Jasmine is absent for all of this, but shows up for the aftermath at the villain’s hideout with two mooks and a wounded businessman in tow. The villainess claims he was “no fun” moments before she garottes him live on camera. The kill itself happens off screen, but this is already an improvement on the first Crackerjack film.
It’s a little while before Wild discovers the hideout and the man’s body (he was too busy having sex with Dana and fighting off one of Becker’s thugs). Turns out the dead guy was due to meet Dana on a train, except Becker has taken his place and mailed the snuff video to the authorities with a fake ransom demand. Wild – with the help of a helicopter pilot friend – gets on board and ends up trapped in the tunnel system with terrified hostages and terrorists. Any of this plotline sound familiar?
With her introduction out of the way, Jasmine helps Smith conduct interrogations of the investor prisoners. Add a sadistic henchwoman to the cliches, because she likes to pull out teeth with pliers. Plural, because Jasmine takes a tooth from the wrong side and is overjoyed when she gets to do the whole thing again. Perhaps the investor should have taken the hint and provided his bank account details. This guy isn’t smart, however. Not only does he insult his wife when she’s threatened by Smith, but also threatens Jasmine after she drags him back to the cell. Does this idiot realise the villains don’t need him anymore? A point the henchwoman is only too happy to clarify by shooting him in the back.
The next investor in the hot seat is reluctant to give up his account details too. Jasmine’s persuasion method this time is to sexually assault the man’s wife / girlfriend. The hostage squirms uncomfortably as Jasmine squeezes her legs, and eventually the investor caves in. Shame for the villain’s techie guy Krill – he seemed to be enjoying it.
There are quite a few more interrogations, but these are the only two shown in detail. Meanwhile Wild finds his way into the hostage room, but nobody seems to want to escape. Perhaps they’d rather be tortured by Jasmine? Once Wild has ticked off Becker and taken out a few of his thugs, it’s high time the two met. Wild sneaks up on Becker and has him at gunpoint. Does he shoot the man who murdered his wife? Of course not! Then the hero couldn’t be captured and get a bomb taped to his chest.
Smith and Jasmine consider Becker and his thugs expendable, so they accelerate the countdown and flood the tunnels with water from the reservoir above. Just so Wild can acquire the disc with the investors’ financial data, Krill is sent with one man for protection. The bodyguard goes down after one punch and the techie puts up little resistance. Smith isn’t too happy with Krill’s failure, so Jasmine gets a second strangulation kill. She clearly gets all excited and sexually aroused, but the camera cuts away to shots of Wild struggling to escape – so this is another mostly off screen murder.
After Jasmine executes another mook and take Dana hostage to trade for the disk, the hostages decide it’s a good time to leave. The final controntation takes place in a shaft. Jasmine mouths off to Wild, but then it’s her turn to get shot in the back. Smith really doesn’t believe in sharing his ill gotten gains. The villainess’ death is a disappointing end to what came before. Don’t get any hopes up for a good climax. Smith gets tossed down the shaft by Dana (who finally uses the self defence training that had been foreshadowed much earlier), and the heroes survive an explosion with little more than blackened faces.
Video Review
Honourable Mention (Unranked)
Rush Hour 2 (2001) – Hu Li (Zhang Ziyi)
This action comedy sequel pitted detective duo Lee and Carter (Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker) against Chinese triads in Hong Kong, though they were back to causing chaos in America by the end. Asian martial arts actors tend to get cast as villains in Hollywood productions, and Zhang Ziyi – of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame – plays the enforcer to chief baddie Ricky Tan (John Lone).
Events play out with no major surprises. There’s a female customs agent (Roselyn Sanchez) with questionable loyalty who undresses while the cops stake out her Los Angeles apartment. Hu Li shoots Tan on his yacht and apparently kill him, but the old staged assassination ploy won’t fool seasoned viewers – especially since the film has established a backstory around Tan and Lee’s former partner.
Hu Li doesn’t get any direct kills at all, despite having a fair chunk of screen time. Her main acts of villainy are setting off bombs in buildings, acting cold and mean, and knocking out the two heroes with high kicks. There’s also skewering an apple with a throwing knife, if you count that. All the encounters – mostly between Hu Li and Carter – finish with effortless victories for the villainess.
The main action set piece – where Hu Li finally gets to do some serious fighting – is set in a Los Vegas casino. The villainess tapes a grenade in Lee’s mouth while gloatingly holding a detonator, which leads to an inventive brawl with the hero desperately trying to remove the explosive. With Carter’s assistance, Lee survives this messy situation and goes after the big boss while his partner takes on Hu Li. The fight is played for laughs, but Carter holds his own (mostly by accident) against a much more skilled opponent. Somehow the loud mouthed cop wins and Hu Li ends up impaled on a decorative spear.
If that “demise” was disappointing, then get ready for worse. Hu Li survives her injury to show up at the villain’s penthouse holding a bomb. No reason is given why a previously icy and composed woman would suddenly become so hysterical and suicidal. This seems to be a stupid plot device to add in a big explosion and one final stunt sequence.
Action Woman Fan 