Movie
Final Contract: Death on Delivery (2006)
This fast paced action thriller is a throwback to the days of real stunts, unlikely heroes and tough women with ponytails dressed all in black. The villainess Lorca does answer to a sleezy criminal paymaster, but be in no doubt the main threat (and selling point) is the ruthless assassin with the crossbow. Too bad the police finger an innocent patsy and spend the whole movie chasing him, while wrecking dozens of vehicles in the process.
Motorcycle courier David (Drew Fuller) is an American working for his uncle in Berlin, and has a blossoming romance with fellow employee Jenny (Tanja Wenzel). David has the usual teen love problems and a few speeding tickets, but nothing serious. That all changes when a beautiful woman jumps into his car (that always spells trouble) and claims to be a cop hunting a contract killer who’s just murdered a key trial witness. Bad guys want to stop her, leading into the first of many chase scenes where David shows off his driving skills. The passenger Lara is handy with a sidearm, and after a high speed shootout – and all the traffic chaos that results – she shows her appreciation with a kiss.
David – realising Lara has left her bag behind – follows her into a hotel. She warns him the lobby is under surveillance, so David agrees to check in at reception and enquire about a contact. Lara later joins David in the room, now scantily dressed and in full on seduction mode. Being a young man David lets his guard down and stands up Jenny (something she’s clearly not happy about) in favour of Lara. Pity all this is just a setup and the woman David spent the evening with is actually the contract killer Lorca – who murders a second witness while he’s asleep.
David wakes up to find the hotel swarming with police. Hillman (Ken Bones) is the man in charge and has a personal vendetta against the assassin. So he’s awfully pleased with himself when his armed response team corner David on the roof, and take the supposed “assassin” into custody. The courier brought along a bag at the villainess’ request, not realising she stowed a crossbow inside to implicate David.
Two dumb cops (there are plenty in this movie) take a detour and beat up David for crimes he didn’t commit. They’re enjoying their brutality until the real assassin – now dressed in leather and looking far more villainous – executes the two men without a second thought. She contemplates killing David too, but decides to spare his life. Seems the patsy is still important to the villainess’ plan, if only as a distraction for the cops to pursue while she targets the third and final witness.
Villainess
Lara / Lorca (Alison King)
With an assassin on the loose and the entire Berlin police force after him, David is a stranger in a foreign land with few allies to call on. His uncle is frustrated and outright refuses to help, and Jenny is also reluctant given their recent history (though she does offer David a ride). Lorca has vanished, but David has enough problems with the cops. There are multiple car chase scenes and lots of property damage, but David manages to evade the authorities thanks to help from a shady mechanic he’s made deliveries for. Jenny isn’t too pleased with the danger her boyfriend has put her in, and with the romantic angst over it’s time for the villainess’ return.
The third witness is very well guarded, so Lorca beats up David and kidnaps Jenny to force him to co-operate. David has a clever idea to use the vehicle’s GPS tracker, but the villainess anticipates this and the trail ends at an abandoned warehouse. Meanwhile Jenny frees herself by cutting her bonds on a convenient sharp object (there’s always one around). It’s a bold escape attempt, but one that ends very quickly after Lorca tracks Jenny down and recaptures her. The crossbow wielding villainess isn’t in the mood for disobedience, and tortures Jenny with electric shock therapy to show David who’s in charge.
The assassin has David wear special camera glasses – so she can watch everything on her hi-tech monitor screens – and instructs him to attend the courthouse, where she’s already stashed a gun for her patsy to use. David is seemingly out of options, and can only watch helplessly as a young girl is brought in. The witness is a child, and if David refuses to eliminate her, Lorca will kill Jenny. To make things worse, Hillman and the police are on site and still suspect David.
After an interlude, the prosecutor questions the girl and asks her to point out the offender. Lorca demands David shoot her, and gets increasingly angry. Seeing no response on her screens as the witness identifies her client, the villainess grabs her trusty crossbow and threatens to shoot Jenny unless David pulls the trigger first. After a tense exchange, David – who’s tracked the villainess using a clue Jenny provided – shoots the assassin. As Lorca struggles to comprehend the turn of events, it’s revealed David’s uncle finally agreed to help and is the person wearing the glasses at the courthouse.
Lorca isn’t finished yet and attacks David while his girlfriend watches in terror. Being a trained assassin, the villainess has the upper hand. After being dealt a few blows, David takes advantage of a rare opening and throws Lorca over a guardrail. Seeing her plan fall apart, the villainess flees and uses a speedboat to make her getaway. David is determined to prove himself innocent, and chases after the assassin on a motorcycle.
The final big action set piece follows, with a police helicopter following David. Snipers attempt to shoot the hero, despite Jenny (who’s been brought along as a suspect) doing her best to inform Hillman the woman in black is the assassin they’re after. After a lengthy pursuit – including a few narrow escapes – David rides up a ramp and performs an improbable jump to Lorca’s boat. Lorca fights David and gets the better of her weaker opponent, but then makes the mistake of readying her crossbow. That tips off Hillman who the real assassin is, and he finally realises his mistake.
Now exonerated, it’s still down to David to best Lorca in a fight – which he just about manages – and send the speedboat crashing into dry land. This takes the assassin out of the equation, and an apologetic Hillman has Lorca arrested while the heroes kiss and make up.
Video Review
Honourable Mentions (Unranked)
Hard Target 2 (2016) – Sofia (Rhona Mitra)
This sequel to the 1993 movie doesn’t involve Jean Claude Van Damme or John Woo, but does come with leather clad villainess Sofia. Yes, Rhona Mitra plays another badass female, alongside Scott Adkins as a martial artist seeking redemption for his chequered past and Robert Knepper as a psychotic criminal fond of big speeches. Exactly the casting – or should it be typecasting? – we’ve come to expect in the direct-to-video action market.
After MMA fighter Wes Baylor (Adkins) accidentally kills his friend and competitor during a fight, he winds up on a much less prestigious underground circuit in the far east. When a sinister man named Aldrich (Knepper) offers Baylor a half million payday, he quickly accepts the offer. Except the proposed fight in Myanmar never was and Baylor is now the latest player in a sadistic game of hunt and kill. Aldrich’s crew include all kinds of rough types plus the now expected tough girl Sofia who’s got a serious chip on her shoulder and a love for crossbows.
It’s all standard stuff, so don’t expect any surprises. As the hunting party track Baylor through the jungle, he teams up with a local named Tha (Ann Truong). She’s the typical resourceful type who gets the occasional fight when Baylor is otherwise occupied, but mainly exists so the hero can confess his sins and pray to Buddha. Baylor kills off a few careless bad guys before Aldrich gets super annoyed and orders out weaponised motorcycles to give the villains an (even more) unfair advantage.
One of the better action scenes has Sofia and two mooks chase down Baylor. The other hunters go down fairly easily, leaving Sofia to fire her vehicle mounted weapons and corner her prey in a deserted village. Baylor acquires a bike of his own and fires a net to dismount the villainess. Not finished yet, Sofia draws two mini crossbows and advances while scenery explodes behind her. After a thankfully brief family history lesson about her wealthy father, Sofia fights Baylor with a baton and puts up a decent struggle before he sends her flying through a destructible wall.
Baylor does the heroic thing and leaves Sofia alive, and inevitably it’s the two women who go at each other in the final battle. Sofia – armed with a big crossbow now – confronts Tha, but prefers to show off her combat skills so fights unarmed. This leads to a disappointing finale on a rusty old train, with the action interrupted by those cutaway moments directors are so fond of. For an experienced huntress, Sofia is bested by Tha very easily and never looks like winning before she gets impaled on a spike. Like so many henchwomen, overconfidence is her undoing.
Ballistica (2009) – Alexa (C.B. Spenser), Fang (Lauren Mary Kim)
No crossbow this time, just secret agents able to dodge bullets at close range. The title refers to the ludicrous concept of – as the villainess puts it – kung fu with guns. In addition to bizarre fight scenes, there’s a training montage of the hero Damian (Paul Sloan) working out with dual pistols, a shadowy CIA department with a hi-tech control room, minor female agents who exist purely as eye candy, and a treacherous blonde who seduces the main character before revealing her true allegiance. Derivative stuff, in case you’re wondering.
A number of B-movie stars feature. Robert Davi is the agency boss who might be corrupt, Martin Kove is a dependable ally, and Andrew Divoff plays a Russian baddie who’s the main antagonist before the villainess’ reveal. Special effects are atrocious at times and the fight scenes are poorly done with no on-screen physical contact, but there’s some enjoyment to be had if you can forget the laws of reality.
The plot involves a nasty bomb that terrorists want to acquire. Lauren Mary Kim – known mainly for stunt work, with the occasional acting gig whenever a female Asian badass is required – plays the minor villainess Fang. She’s a nondescript… um, Asian badass who beats up the captured hero and throws a prototype weapon his way. Too bad she forgot to lock the door, and gets the bomb tossed back at her. A stupid death scene to end Fang’s far too brief role.
Alexa is actually convincing as an innocent scientist who wants to help. She receives martial arts training, talks with Damian about his tragic past, and even gets a pool lovemaking scene. This all seems to be the standard sidekick trajectory until Damian kills his nemesis with half an hour left on the runtime clock. Then Alexa reveals herself to be adept at ballistica and takes out an entire SWAT team with acrabotic gunfire. Damian arrives to discover Alexa has activated the bomb she was supposedly there to defuse, before the villainess puts a bullet in his chest.
Good thing Damian was wearing a pendant – yes, that bullet blocking trick we’ve seen countless times before. While office politics and treachery unfold back at base, Damian chases after Alexa in a car, bringing the bomb along for the ride. There’s a lengthy pursuit scene through the streets of Los Angeles with very noticable green screen background shots before the villainess crashes and the confrontation continues on foot.
Alexa gives us a “reason why” speech when cornered by the hero – the usual about the need to commit a terrorist act to secure funding – then it’s a ballistica duel. Alexa proves Damian’s equal in agility and style, but somehow these two elite agents can’t hit a target at arm’s length. Finally the villainess has Damian in her sights, but he manages to load a spare bullet in mid twist and finish her off.
Action Woman Fan 